You know how people say bands get “worse” because the fire in their eyes goes away after they have nothing to be angry at anymore? I feel like I’m in the angry phase of my life, but I let go of a bunch. Last month, I had years of pent up anger all go at once and it was beautiful. I harnessed it intro creativity instead of moping. I wrangled every emotion and wrote. Since then… I’ve been super content with life. Like not really bothered by issues. Not angry at all. That doesn’t bode well with how my stories were shaping up.
I need something to be angry at. Or some more inspiration. :|
If I could write twists as good as the ones that pop up in my life, I’d be the next best seller.
I was writing a novel for the past 6 months, but after a turn of thoughts, I decided to shift ideas to a short story collection. I’ve completed about 3 stories so far. One of them will be stretched out longer, but other than some edits, that means I’m estimated to be about 30% done with this bitch of a creative-fest I’ve had.
I want 10 stories. I want about 200 pages though. 150-300 is the vicinity of where I wanna land. I’ve got general ideas for 6 of the last 7 stories. I may or may not add a few more just to make the package beefier.
I spat out the first story back in March and I spit out two more this month. The way I produce these is really sporadic. I got my inspirational burst back in March and produced the first story that way. I’ve sat on the second story for months and months just trying to clear it from the haze that I call my brain. The third one came to me randomly a few days ago on my normal daydream marathons while driving and it was done that night. I wish I could have a stable schedule.
I’m hoping by mid 2014 that I can wrap this up and figure out publishing. Self-publishing seems the way to go. I’ve got one friend reading it who’s totally stoked on what I’ve got so far though, so I am considering pitching it around. I don’t know! I just know I want the stories in text first. Let’s start to make some official grounding here, yeah?
People always need a hand up in certain situations. Over the years, I’ve managed to make myself into a trustworthy person for people to vent to. Which is all good, of course. The problem is that I end up worrying over everyone.
Many of my friends have been going through a real rough patch of life. Many of them have wandered off and have been closing up to the world. Whenever I offer to hang out with them or for them to tag along with a friend and I, they close up. It sucks to witness, but I just gotta keep telling myself that people mend on their own sometimes. I had the very same thing happen to me.
I’m glad many of them appreciate me for being around though. Honestly. There are some people who will always make you feel like it was a waste of time, but then there are others who will remember you always for being around. I’m a strong believer in karma, and I just want people to do the right things so good things will happen to them. T’is all.
One step forward, two steps back.
That’s all the past 365~ days have been for me. I’m still making progress, but it’s so annoying.
My life over the past almost 3 weeks has been a total change. I have no qualms and am quite happy with it :D
It’s all the shit that went on this week that makes me never want to hold grudges. Bridges were burned with people in my life, but that wouldn’t make me any less sad if I were to lose anyone I knew. Friend of me or not, stay safe, y’all. <3